Crystal bullshit

Okay so this is the first time I’m actually writing a blog post from my phone and it feels weird and unprofessional but hey I had to try it. The thing is I have found myself posting less and less just because I was so fucking burdened with the aesthetics and everything being just right, even though I came up with so many thoughts and things to write about during the day and never actually wrote about them just because I never seemed to have time or energy to do it when I finally got home to my computer. So this is a new thing I’m doing – blogging as I go through my day because fuck that shit, I don’t got time to waste and I want to get things out when they are still fresh in my head.

So one of those things was working with crystals. Continue reading

The castration of witchcraft

This is a blog post, transferred from my previous blog site. Also – it’s a rant.

I must admit I wasn’t expecting that I would be writing about this as many others did. I never really feel compelled to add on to the fire of drama in our so called pagan community. I have never even been a part of a community, not really. But this is something I have been reading and hearing about for so long it’s really eating up my nerves.

Continue reading


This is a blog post, transferred from my previous blog site.


So this is an unusual thing. I’m sitting in my parents kitchen, surrounded with family. My two grandmas drinking tea and coffee with us. Both of them here is a rare event. Specially since my other grandma lives in USA and we don’t get to see her often – every couple of years.

This is a moment for me to soak up my heritage. My magickal heritage.

The rituals and spells my ancestors used for healing and manifesting wealth.

It is unusual because my family is muslim and the old ways show an interesting mix of pagan ritual and use of arabic prayer from Kur’an. As I look back on it there are origins from the old ways of the tribe of Japodi – Ilir people of Slavic Balkan area. As far as the fierceness of magick goes, the magick of Ilir people was always known to be very fiery. Some even say the fiercest of all.

Well anyone who knows people of balkan and the slavs knows how much fire we carry in us. We have it in our blood – the daring will power that makes us fight for our lands, our people, our families. And that my dear is a dangerous thing to be meddling with.


So I listen to their words carefully. With patience while I write down the words of power and try to comprehend and understand every thing my grandmother is saying. I am so anxious and hoping not to miss any detail she shares. Today I am learning about the old ritual of lead melting.

It is an old Bosnian ritual that cures the consequences of spellbound eyes (the evil eye), fear, black magick, influence of demons, certain skin diseases and different blockages such as the inability for someone to get married or a pupil to achieve success in school. Also – only in Bosnia stravarke and stravari know how to use this ritual to help people which are far away from them, without physical contact, even on another continent. That is why it is known that Bosnian stravari are the best ones in this area.


In support of the originality of the ritual the data that lead melting was familiar in Bosnia since the old days and that there is no data in any ethnographic chapter which would disprove these claims. According to individual anthropologists lead melting is an ancient ritual of the Illyrians which knew how to use metals and how to shape them but also to use them for purposes of magic. 

This ritual is a combination of four elements – fire, earth, air and water, because the human body is made of them as well. The representatives of the elements in this ritual are a bowl with water (water element), burning wooden sticks (fire), lead itself (earth), and as the stravarka is blowing her breath to the water the air element is incorporated as well.

There is also a classical way of unification of the elements, by washing the body with the ritual water in following order: face, right arm, left leg, left arm and right leg; so it represents a unification in a pentagram.

The ritual itself is shortly described as having a bowl of water, melting lead, burning wood and uttering prayer as well as blowing air into the water. The words of power that are used in the ritual itself vary. 

Uttering prayers above the surface of the water which is located in the bowl is an imitation of the mythological creation of the world which was, according to Bosnian mythology, created by a supernatural being (God) or more of them (gods) uttering a magical formula i.e. basma above the sea and then blew into the water out of which then came life. Still today there is a belief, that there is a secret and universal basma, the one that created life, the one which if found out by humans and uttered, would allow him to become the master of the entire planet earth. Bosnian stravarke believe that earth “stands” or exists on the power of the basma and the surface of the earth, on which people walk and from which they get food, rests on the strength of the prayer Ihlas from the Qur’an.

In magical practice prayer Ihlas is often combined with a basma in order to produce a magical effect. It is always repeated in the beginning three, five or seven times and then the basma is repeated three times. With that, through the ritual, one connects into a whole things which are theoretically inconceivable – basma as a pagan element with Islam i.e. prayer Ihlas whose content is the most important message of monotheism – There is only one God. Symbiosis of magic and religion doesn’t stop there instead it culminates in the formula which is called “Backwards Ihlas”, whose content has a few versions of the text, but every one of them starts with the identical words of the basma and ends with the first words of the prayer Ihlas. Power of this basma is extremely large which confirms folk belief according to which all those that know the text of this basma can rule over the forces of magic and can cast spells. 

There is a certain secrecy to the ritual itself or more precisely – to the words of power. I have been given the words by my grandmother and advised not to share them around. I tried to google it and haven’t really found a legitimate source about the words of power (yet). So there really is even a bigger respect growing in me for these rites. I hope I will carry them out with grace and make my ancestors proud.

Witches first aid kit for depression

Hello there my lovely witches and goblins! It is nothing special, extreme or not even magickal enough for some of you probably, but for a witch (me) suffering (suffering? I hate this word. Let’s say battling or living) with depression these are some practical things that really work (at least for me). I want to disclaim that I am no doctor and I am not encouraging any of you to stop taking your meds or going to your therapies (they are priceless and the meds are sometimes the best way to stay alive and give yourself a fighting chance). I just wanted to share some things that help ME in moments of down. Let’s start! Continue reading

Imbolc 2016

This is a blog post, transferred from my previous blog site.

So here I am again with a cup of coffee and a lot of stuff on my mind. Weird things happened on this Imbolc and I am still a bit in the dark about what it actually was. As many of you who know me are aware of, that I am very close to the Fae – I can sense them, hear them and see them. And on the 2nd of February there was a lot going on. So much energy in the air it was crazy!

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The pathological liar and the bully

I know a lot of people in this world live with mental illness. I don’t like to say suffer. It makes it sound like we are victims, slaves to it. And we literally are living with it. It’s like that annoying person that keeps calling your number, trying to sell you their vacuum cleaner because without it your life isn’t worth living. We all know it’s a lie but it still makes us think “What if it’s true? What if I really do need it? My life possibly is a mess without it…” That’s how depression works, it lies to you. ALL THE TIME. It’s a pathological liar, that’s what it is, and it’s constantly criticising you. Anxiety is friends with depression, except that anxiety is the bully. Continue reading

It’s been a while…

So I  know that I don’t seem to get writing and posting on my blog a regular thing. I’ve been struggling with this for….well forever. Life sweeps me off my feet, or anxiety does. I can’t even believe it’s been two months since I’ve posted. My last post is dated 8th of January. The day after that I lost a person in my life to a untimely death. He was 15. It crushed me in every way possible and still does. I cannot wrap my mind around it. I can’t feel him in spirit. I can’t find hope to see him again some day. I would like to. But I can’t. I just hurt and despair. I laugh at little things in everyday life. I read. I work a lot. I distract myself in every way possible, but in the end of the day it still hits me in the guts. My insides curl up in a knot and I can’t breathe. That is the truth. Is there any point to this life if we are just gone in the end like that? Is there any point in being happy with someone, when in reality there is a very real chance that they might be gone just like that in any second in any day? It is difficult to be happy when all you can think about is losing the people you love every single day. It’s ridiculous because I seem to mourn people while they are still here. I want to make the best of it while I still have the chance but I can’t shake the fear, the anxiety. I regret every second I got mad at my mom or rushed a lunch date with my family. I regret every time I pulled out my phone when I was having coffee with a friend. I regret every evening I hurried to bed instead of making love. I regret every day I spent imprisoned inside by my anxiety. I regret all the relationships that fell apart because of that. I guess some things just had to happen the way they did. That little kid tought me the hardest lesson in my life. I’ve lost people before, but it was never like this. Never completely unexpected and heart breaking. As a witch I feel like I am failing at this. I wish I got to feel him in spirit. I wish I was calm and totally reassured that he is not just gone, but somewhere better. As someone who delved in the shadow and darkness of the craft all my life more than in the light, I should know how to accept this. I should be able to just call up Ms. Death for a cup of coffee and have a chat about it just like I did with people I lost before. But this one… I just can’t accept this one. I hate her for this one. And as I say this I realize that I don’t. I just can’t admit to myself that she did him a favor. That he was more sick every day, every year of his little majestic life. I can’t seem to accept that he fulfilled his purpose in this world. He made us see how abundant you can be with so little. How a light can be found in the darkest days. I just wish he had better circumstances in a next life because he deserved it. He really damn did. I hope that he knows how much we loved him. I hope that he didn’t feel alone when it happened. I hope that he passed with ease. I hope that he’s mocking me somewhere right now for being a crybaby. I loved that kid. I really did.


I love you you little twat. Come visit sometimes. Please ❤

31 days of tarot – days 2 to 8

Okay so I fell a bit behind with this challenge so I am doing days from 2 to  8 all in this blog post!

2. Top 5 tarot decks of 2017

I must admit I really had to think this one through just because I took a little “break” with buying decks in 2017, so I didn’t purchase as many as in 2016. So here is my list for 2017:

– Pagan Otherworlds tarot by UUSI
Probably one of my favorite decks, due to the slavic feel I get from it. Simple and refreshing – I just love it. Don’t even make me talk about the cardstock – premium is all I can say.


– Peintures du monde tarot by Neko Divination
This deck I was actually looking at for quite some time and when I wanted to get it, it was out of print so I was miserable. And then like it was meant to be I stumbled upon a lovely lady in a facebook group where people were trading and buying used decks and I finally got it. I absolutely adore this deck. It is non traditional although it does reflect upon the rider waite symbolism. The art is stunning and it speaks to me like it’s haunted or something. It was spot on for me every single time. It really wakes up my intuition!


– Hidden waters tarot by Ana Cristina Tourian
This one was also out of print when it called to me and then the second edition came out and I got it! It is based on the Rorschach Inkblot tests and delves strongly into the Continue reading

31 days of tarot challenge – day one

I am happy to participate in the 31 of tarot challenge, hosted by Ethony of the Tarot Readers Academy. In the previous years I have only watched the videos and posts others made on this challenge, but this year I am excited to participate in it for the first time myself as well. I do not have a youtube channel (I might some day), so I will participate in a more verbal way, through my blog. If any of you are interested in participating in this challenge, everything about it is on this page 31 days of tarot. I love how things like this bring the tarot community together and helps us share different perspectives and ways we view the cards and their  meanings and using different decks, allowing us to explore works of different artists as well. So let’s get to it! (I’m a day late anyway!)


Day one is tarot reading on the energy or major lesson of the year 2018. For this I used the Morgan Greer tarot, just because I felt like it matched my energy best at this time. As I said in the previous post – I did not want to do heavy spreads using a lot of cards for this yearly reading, so I went with a simple three card reading to just give me a general feel of 2018 energy and vibe. I drew a card for body, mind and spirit.


So I got 9 of cups for the body, the Hermit for the mind and the Page of cups for the spirit. It seems to me that overall this brings the energy of rediscovering myself, through my thoughts and my emotions. There will be a lot of work and goals achieved regarding the body but I feel mainly through accepting myself and letting go of judgement. Letting myself be as I am and loving myself with all my health issues and “non ideal” body features. All in all – I will love my but and be proud to show it off, no matter the size of the jeans I’m wearing. The mind is the Hermit, but my mind is the hermit most of the time anyway so this will not be very new, but perhaps deeper. I will go through old thought patterns, learning about my mind, about some behavioral issues that can be rewired and done better. A LOT will be going on internally, in my mind, thinking through things that don’t serve me anymore and letting them go. Parenting my mind and my ego, so I can let my inner spirit child evolve and show up more. With the Page of cups for spirit this makes perfect sense. The spirit will come into my life this year in a form of childlike innocent energy, allowing space for learning new things and healing. I love it 🙂